Lazy Baby: Please, go to sleep

A RARE MOMENT WHEN LAZY BABY ACTUALLY TAKES A NAP.

Two words: SLEEP. TRAINING.

Ugh, this has been my private hell for the past…month? Two months? It’s honestly a big, tired, sleep-deprived blur.

I remember during months 3 and 4, my sweet Lazy Baby slept like a champ! She’d go down at 7 each evening and was up at 6-6:30 every morning. The occasional hiccup would occur, but she’s was a great sleeper.

The key word there: WAS.

Then teething happened and my great sleeper regressed. She’d go to sleep just fine, but then would wake up and wouldn’t fall back asleep. Instead, she’d scream until you held her. Then she’d fall back asleep for a couple of hours. Wake. Scream. Hold. Sleep. Repeat.

I scoured the internet for a solution. First, I thought it was because I would give her a bottle after her dinner and let her fall asleep drinking eat. BIG NO NO! So I cut that shit out of the routine and started brushing her little tooth, changing her into her big girl jimmies and reading a book to her; you know, “establishing a night-time routine” like all the books/internet say to do.

Wake. Scream. Hold. Sleep. Repeat.

Now, I know it’s because I’ve been holding her until she dozes off. HUGE MISTAKE! I must no longer get this sweet, precious cuddle time with my darling baby. Instead, I must put her down while she’s still awake.

Yeah, Lazy Baby is having none of that shit.

Enter “crying it out” – a tactic I was REALLY not wanting to do, but have been forced into enduring because of my own mistakes as a parent. And we aren’t consistent with this because it is THE HARDEST THING I’VE EVER HAD TO DO.

Is there any of you who have gone through this hell? Is there light at the end of tunnel?

New Parent Must Haves

*This post contains affiliate links.

We are in our third month of new-parenthood, and I thought I'd team up with Target (affiliate) to share with you my favorite baby products that we could not live with out. These items are total life savers.

1. The number one thing I want to recommend every new parent get is a swing. We have this Graco swing, and this thing is the best. Lazy Baby can be put in it, the music turned on and the swing a-swaying and it gives us a break from constantly holding her. She's almost outgrown it now, and I may cry the day comes that we have to put it away.
2. I never could get the hang of swaddling, and the velcro swaddles didn't work – Lazy Baby got out of every single one. When we tried these zip up swaddles, life become so much easier. I just wish they made these even bigger, but I guess babies don't want to be swaddled for forever.
3. We use all the bottles we have, but I really do think these helped with gas in the earlier days. Added bonus, they are the least messy bottles when we're feeding the baby (one down side is all the extra parts you have to wash).
4. Once LB became a bit more aware of her surroundings, she started to love to play with this play mat. Added bonus: you can walk into the next room and know she's still alive by the sounds of the piano as she kicks it!
5. Once you get diapers from all you baby showers...get more. We like Pampers because we found we had less "accidents" with them and I really like their rewards program.
6. Muslin swaddle blankets. I may not be able to swaddle well, but these are big enough that even my big baby was able to be soothed, momentarily anyway. Now she just uses them as regular blankets because it is too hot here in New Orleans for "real" blankets most of the time. PLUS these are so cute!

She's growing so fast that a lot of these things are becoming parts of her past, but I still think any new mom/dad could benefit from having these tools helping them out in the early days. Best of luck!

The Struggle Is Real: My Feeding Story

During my pregnancy, I had done my research, gone to the classes and knew that I wanted to breastfeed. Everyone says "breast is best" and I wouldn't have to pay for formula (on top of the medical bills, diapers, child care expenses, etc.) so I was all about that decision. I knew I'd be pumping once back at work, so I got a breast pump free through my insurance (and I got the best pump I could, as close the medical grade as possible!) for when those days arrived. 

All throughout my pregnancy, mothers in my life told me of their struggle to breastfeed. From infections, to latch problems and just not producing enough milk, I heard it all. While I took in these women's experiences, in the back of my mind I was determined to breastfeed and I just knew I could do it. 

Now let's skip ahead to after Lazy Baby's birth. I met with the lactation nurse and she worked with me to get her latched. It hurt like Hell to which the nurse told me that because I am a red head, it's just going to hurt worse. Just days after she was born she had a very high bilirubin count (in other words, she had a mild case of jaundice). I had to pump because she was on a special UV blanket and I couldn't hold her to feed her. Also, she had to have at least 30mL of food and I wasn't pumping that, so they gave us some supplement to get her to poop out the bilirubin in her system. When we went home, they sent us with supplement for her until her test results came back with a lower bilirubin count. My milk never really came in much more.

I tried to breastfeed once her pediatrician told us that she was all good, plus the doctor told me that I was producing enough for Lazy Baby's need. Instead of adjusting to breastfeeding, I got an almost constantly screaming baby, bleeding nipples, and my sanity slowly draining from me. Mr. LL was doing his best to keep me from completely losing it, but I was miserable. I tried, I researched, I just knew that if I could figure out how to breastfeed better I'd nail it. After all, that's how I approach all my problems. Research, try new tactics and find the way that works! I could do that with breastfeeding, right? I started pumping again – to give my nipples a break and to see just how much I was producing. I was lucky to produce an ounce. This reality hit me hard, I was failing at motherhood's most primal task: feeding my baby. 

I gave up on breastfeeding, because I needed to know that she was getting enough to eat. I would pump and then give her supplement till she was full. Now, Lazy Baby is just about 6 weeks old, and I still only pump about an ounce of breastmilk every time, sometimes I get two ounces. However, she eats 3-4 ounces at every feeding.  

I scoured the internet almost daily trying to figure out how to increase my supply, but almost every resource I could find was for breastfeeding mothers who also pumped, and the advice didn't meet my needs. I've tried the lactation cookies, taking Fenugreek and Power Pumping (which is when you pump 10 minutes then wait 10 minutes, and repeat for an hour). On top of it all, I was still struggling with coming to terms with my body's inability to provide for my baby along with the added guilt of having medical professionals insisting that I should be able to do just that by now. It is hard enough to be a new mom and heal, not to mention the baby blues hit me hard those first couple of weeks. I didn't need the guilt trip.  

I'm finally coming to terms with what my body can provide. I give her as much breast milk as I can at each feeding and then she gets formula. Do I still wish I could provide all she needs? Of course. However, the important thing is she is healthy and doesn't go hungry. I will continue to pump until she is six months or my supply dries out. I also keep reminding myself, with every bad pumping session (the ones where I only get half an ounce total) that I, myself, was never breastfed. I didn't get a drop of breastmilk and I survived just fine.

If you are struggling, just remember, you are not alone and from the women who are in my life, you aren't in the minority either.

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I wrote this post after being contacted by The Honest Company and asked to share my story. Honest presents judgment-free feeding stories on its blog covering moms from every walk of life. To read more Honest feeding stories, you can go here: Honest Feeding Stories.